When I Can’t Remember. 

I am 40-years old. I was born with Spina Bifida. I am a blogger. I am a communicater. I am a lover of all people. I don’t claim to be anything like Jesus Christ, but, oh, how I try. 

Two and one-half years ago I began this blogging journey with the hopes of making the world a better place. God whispered to my spirit and acronym, I.M.P.A.C.T. I Make Positive Actions Come True. In the time that I have had this blog I have had over 1,300 posts and over 18,000 hits! My hope is to do that in one month someday. I am a writer. I am a thinker. 

But, I am 40-years old and I have a disability. Spina Bifida requires a lot of surgeries. I have come to the conclusion that all those surgeries (somewhere around 40-50 in my lifetime) has caused some issues with understanding and memory. For years I have classified myself as a genius. I am writing this tonight to say, I am not a genius. I forget the most inconsequential things. Is Alzheimer’s setting in early? I don’t think I am at that point yet, but I do forget. My body doesn’t work like it once did. And it has never worked completely. It’s a scary thing to look into one’s mortality. 

A few weeks ago I asked a friend of mine, who is now a full-time, paid blogger ‘What is the secret? What can I do on my blog to do what you do?’ Her response will stay with me forever because I don’t know if I can. 

She said, ‘Your blog is inspiring and awesome, but it is all over the place. Pick a topic. Everybody is an expert at something. Write about that and get a laser-pointed audience.’ I write for humanity. I write for all people. I write to inspire. Even when I can’t remember, I still write. 

As time goes on, more memories fade, and others are etched into my conscious like a tattoo on the brain! I remember being 8, the year was 1984. The woman who is now my wife was only a few months old and I had no idea who she was! But I remember sitting in the floor space of my dad’s 1066 International tractor. We were going to go out into the fields for the day and cultivate a field. I now mow the lawn where the tractor was parked at the time and Karma Chameleon was on the radio! 

And then there are other memories like my wedding day. I can’t remember what our pastor spoke about and I can’t remember who all was there. But I remember I forgot to get the marriage license. Kind of a big deal for a wedding and it was my one and only job. 

I often feel like I drop the ball because I forget things so easily these days. Maybe I am becoming an expert in forgetting. Maybe as more and more things fade I should create a new blog page about that. Maybe then I can make this a career. I want to write to live and I want to start living to write. I do that every day. If you have followed my site for a while you now know it is very rare I won’t post anything for a day. I want to remember these feelings and thoughts. 

And I want you to find your definition of success for you. If I can help with that along the way, I will try. But I also want to inspire you to become as great as you can be, because one day you will wake up and realize you are quickly approaching the downhill side of life. It will happen for all of us and I am rolling beside you as a friend and encouragement. Stay the course. And help me when I can’t remember. 

As a side note, I want to encourage everyone to please help if you can. I am raising money for an Alzheimer’s walk here in West-Central Minnesota on October 1st, which is now less than one month away. I have a goal of $1,000 raised and I am sitting still at $0. I need people to start helping, because we all deserve to remember. Any and all donations count. You can even see the breakdown on my site of where your donation goes. Please help and share this link with anyone you know. It would be AWESOME to reach beyond my goal by October 1st. 



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