Who Would?

Are there disabled people out there who feel like society thinks they shouldn’t be working? Are there disabled people out there who struggle with Day-to-day living because of disability issues, whether it be accessibility or personal? 

Are there people out there who struggle with their faith? Are there people out there who struggle with depression and anxiety? Are there people out there who feel they should be better? 

All the above questions and so many more, are me. I ask all those questions and so many more on almost a daily basis. We are told, ‘You are a new creation in Christ, so live it! You have to be different, so do it!’ It’s not that easy, is it? 

My editor says, ‘Pray.’ Here’s the thing, the whole p.u.s.h. movement, I don’t buy it. God is not a magic genie who is gonna just make things happen if we have a dialog with Him. Will He sometimes? Sure. But that’s not always how it works. His Son, Jesus performed many miracles. Sometimes He even performed the same miracles again and again. But He never did it the same way twice. 

I am trying to hone in my blog. I have a friend who started a blog for introverts, and now, she has a book– about introverts. I am an extroverted introvert. I am becoming more and more closed off in my own space. Dealing with people? Yeah, I can, but most of the time lately, I just have these feelings of, ‘leave me alone.’ 

I wonder if my face shows that while I am at work. It is at my job I have the biggest trouble. I am a cashier. And I will be sitting in front of my register and people will either ignore me like I am not even there, or they will flat out tell me, no, I don’t want you to check me out. I know from my point of view, my world experiences, it is a demonic attack from Satan to try and diminish my feelings of equality and my right to an existence on this planet. But, sometimes, I can’t just self-talk it away. 

Anyone else out there feel these things? Maybe I should start writing more stuff about that. I had a friend tell me recently I can be over the top with my ‘Jesus Stuff.’ He wants me to show I am not perfect and have it all together all the time. Guess what? I don’t. 

So, if you are reading this and you have the same trouble, let’s talk about it. This blog can become a support for us all, right? 


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