Okay, so it’s actually 2:35a.m. here in Minnesota. It’s 5o’clock Somewhere is playing on the radio and I am facing my giants!
I don’t recall if I have mentioned it here on my blog or not, but in less than 2 weeks now I am having surgery. I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease earlier this summer and the doctors said the best way to solve the problem is a fusion of a few of my vertebrae. Well, the notion that this is now less than two weeks away has left me with a lot of unanswered questions. And yesterday, I seemed to forget that and my wonderful wife reminded me who holds my future. It’s not just she and I as a team, no, we are a Chord Of Three!
What will my experiences be after the surgery, how will we pay for it, will I lose mobility, will the surgery even work?! All of these questions beat down on me yesterday like a hoard of giants! And I lost my motivation. What is my motivation? Love, Grace and Peace. And with all these questions swirling around my brain I had none of those three!
No peace in my spirit. When I question The One who is already there, I have no peace because I am trying to figure it all out with my limited view and my human brain. Bad idea!
No grace for my wife who consistently reassures me after five and a half years we will always see it through! God will always see us through! I should probably openly admit it here and now, there are a lot of times my wife has way more faith than I do! And that’s what makes us great! Just like when we as humans are weak, God is strong, when I am weak, my wife is strong.
I have been having nightmares about every bad scenario that can come of this procedure and every bad scenario afterward and my wife continually says, ‘We aren’t there yet!’ And she is so right! I keep letting the sight of the giants of the unanswered block my view of Jesus!!
So, here it is at 2:46a.m. And my peace has been restored. It has been restored by the grace and love of my wife and my heavenly brother, Jesus Christ. I always find it funny that people expect happy people to always remain so. Don’t show the negative, they say. Guess what, negatives are real. And unless we show them, we aren’t being real. Any positive guru who says they always have it all figured out and they never have doubts or negative actions or feelings is a liar and a fraud! Run from false teachings! Even Jesus Christ said, ‘Come on dad!! This can’t be the way!!’ Okay, don’t go looking for that one in your Bible, I paraphrased it. But in the garden, the night before being beaten and forced to carry a cross after being abused and beaten beyond recognition, Jesus Christ KNEW that was coming and still asked for another way.
So, if you don’t see another way, just keep going. Yeah, it may hurt. Yeah, you may get abused. Yeah, you may face giants you don’t think you can beat! But Jesus is already there. It’s okay to question. It’s okay to say, Hey, can we go this way?! Its okay to feel overwhelmed. You and I are human. We don’t have all the answers! No self-help guru does either! Face the giants and with God’s Love, Grace and Peace, you can win the day!